#Nino would be devistated

[gale-gentlepenguin]

How would you write Alyadrienette?

I couldn’t,

I’d have to add Nino.

I don’t want my boy 4th wheeling.

[woolieshubris]

OK SO IM GOING TO WRITE SOME BACKSTORY THEN CLICK THE CUT TO SEE THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE WITH NO EDITING.

OK SO BASICALLY. At this point in the series, (season 1 had been out and season 2 kept getting hints dropped) every main love square ship had gotten their "scene", except for marichat. Marichat, argueably, was the (and still is) most popular ship on the show. Suddenly a still frame (or concept art?) was released of marinette and chat sitting on her balcony together looking out at the stars. This was quickly dubbed the "balcony scene" and many many many ficwriters quickly made fics of the scene, people made art for it, and people were overall, generally super f/cking hyped for it. Then, glaciator dropped, and reviews were... mixed to say the least. So here, presented in its full, unedited glory, was my hot 2016 take.

enjoy.

Yes. I will be talking about THIS episode. The episode so anticipated by shippers everywhere. The episode that was supposed to finally give marichat shippers a chance, and we ended up with this.

I hate this episode, for many many reasons, but do not worry. The balcony scene isn't one of them.

Here is my summary, (which is very long, so if you would rather just rewatch the episode feel free to do so)

The episode starts out, with chat asking lady out. Nothing out of the ordinary. She says no, but chat takes it as a maybe. (Which is already really stupid, but I'll let it slide)

After they wrap up the escapade, Mari goes to Andre the sweetheart ice cream man, and becomes disappointed when Adrian says he can't go. (Which is not his fault, so I'm letting this slide as well)

Mari feels like a third wheel and declines Andres ice cream because she's heartbroken? (You can get ice cream any day? And it wasn't Adrian's choice either, she should know this by now?)

Andres feelings are hurt.

Cut to chat, who is waiting for ladybug, and lady isn't showing.

Cut to hawkmoth who akumatizes Andre, and then cut to mari, who feels bad about the who ordeal.

Chat blows out candles angstily (even though lady clearly said no, AND thought he was joking) and decides that lady doesn't love him.

Mari is sad about Adrian and goes out to her balcony, balcony scene happens and chat brings Mari to his date he had planned.

Mari is surprised that chat hadn't been joking this entire time (ehh it makes enough sense) and now she feels double as bad.

Andre attacks.

Chat leaps into action and ladybug comes right after. Chat is angsty, and ladybug doesn't show any kind of remorse (what?)

She says sorry, but with no meaning. (maybe bad voice acting, so I'll let this one slide as well) chat is still mad. They soon make the discovery that he doesn't hurt couples, so lady asks if they could pretend to be a couple and chat says no. (Which makes sense) then lady like 1 minute later asks the same thing and chat says yes. (What why would he say yes? ) And they pretend to be a couple but it doesn't do anything to help them?

It helps them escape but they could have done that without pretending to be a couple? Anyways, they save the day and then lady comes to go see chats surprise. He offers her a rose, and lady says she only wants to be friends.

(Chat should have still been mad at her, since she never even said sorry properly, I mean I know I would have,) and chat smiles and says that's fine, then he blasts off.

We follow chat to his room and he's smiling in his bed. Plagg tells him it's ok to be heartbroken, and that a little cheese can help, but Adrian says he isn't heartbroken, and that he's glad she sees him as a friend.

Oof that summary was longer than expected, but it was hopefully shorter than the episode.

Ok, so now that we are all refreshed, I will now list m problems with the episode, in order to make it easier to fix.

First problem, Marinette is heartbroken over the ice cream.

We can easily fix this by making it a special day, like maybe it's a blue moon that night, and Mari wanted to see it with Adrien. It could be the same for Chat with Ladybug, they wanted to see the blue moon together. He takes the, "maybe, I have plans" as a, "sure I'll make it a plan" because he really really wants it to happen, maybe even have plagg mention it, say something along the lines of, "She said she had plans," and Adrien says, "She said maybe!" (I know they already say this, but it isn't portrayed very well in my opinion.

Problem two, Ladybug never says sorry, and chat doesn't care.

Honestly, throughout the entire episode, I was waiting for ladybug to give chat a hug and just say sorry properly. Throughout most of the episode, chat looks on the brink of tears, and lady acts like she can't see it, and chat forgives her almost instantly. It would have been much more interesting to see a chat begrudgingly doing as he's told, just to save Paris, and go home.

Problem 3, Chat isn't heartbroken.

As stated in the show, we don't ever see the sensitive side of chat noir, and the show seems to want to avoid the subject. Chat got friendzoned. He says he's happy to be lady's friend, but he always was, from the start. All of this buildup, only for it to be knocked down in a single episode. Adrien should have been devistated, but then again, this is one of those "reset" type of shows, where everything must resolve before the credits roll, and it becomes very obvious with the awkward transition. You can tell that they were planning to have him heartbroken in bed, mad at ladybug, but someone said, "kids don't want meaningful character exploration, they want happy endings!"

Ok, so now I write my script doctored version of this episode. Warning, it's pretty long.

Ladybug and chat are talking it up as they help the people get off the bus.

"So, you heard about the blue moon tonight chat noir?" Lady asks.

"Yeah, when there is a full moon twice in a month? It's very rare!" Chat says, explaining to all the kids what a blue moon is. "Well, m'lady, can you visit me tonight? You know, to see it together?" Lady shakes her head.

"I have plans," lady thinks it over for a bit however, "but maybe I can come." Chat looks at the time on his baton, and realizes he has to go back home, his piano practice is almost over.

"Gotta go, see you later ladybug!" He says, as he runs off. Lady goes home and realizes that's she's almost late to go meet her friends. She runs out the door and we cut to Adrien, who is texting Nino.

"Sorry nino, father said I can't come" he's talking as he's texting. Plagg flies by and says, "you didn't even ask your dad, how do you know he'd say no?"

Adrien responds, "I have plans with ladybug remember?"

Plagg rolls his eyes. "She said that she had plans."

Adrien looks at plagg and says, "she said maybe."

We cut away from Adrien and we now see a heartbroken Mari.

"It's the blue moon, the most magical night of all, and we were going to eat Andre's ice cream, the most magical ice cream in Paris!" Mari sighs sadly as she sits down on a bench. Nino shows her the text and says, "It's never adrien's fault, so don't blaim him for not being able to show."

"I know, I know." Mari stands up and they all start looking for the ice cream cart.

Cut to chat, who's has just finished setting up the date.

"I really hope she comes." Chat says this with certainty, showing his trust in ladybug. Without having to OUTRIGHT SAY IT. (cough cough episode 12 cough cough)

Cut back to mari, who is exhausted from the chase to find the cart, and salty about Adrien. She sees alya and nino holding hands as they get their ice cream, and looks at the ground while she sits on the bench, not wanting to see it. "We can never be like them" She says, salty. Andre notices this and gives her the ice cream.

"Perfect, just like your love!" Andre says, with a smile. Mari's twisted salty head decides that she doesn't love him, because she and adrien will never be like alya and nino, so when Andre is passing the icecream to Mari, she doesn't grab it, and it falls to the ground.

"I don't love anyone." Mari says, as she stares at the fallen ice cream. Under her breath Mari says, "because no body loves me." Mari looks up at Andre who looks very sad. She realizes what happened and runs to her house. Cut to chat, who is doing the candle thing he did before because that was a really good and powerful scene and I don't want to change it. Start balcony scene, and everything is the same up until the "reveal" of the surprise to ladybug. This time, she hugs him, and you see chats eyes tearing up as she friendzones him. He lets go of the hug prematurely, and smiles, putting the rose in lady's hair. He goes back home and no more cuts to chat or Adrien so we can let the viewers draw their own conclusions. Everything is the same up until when Adrien gets the ice cream. This time, Adrien looks a little happy/sad when Andre prepares him the ladybug ice cream. Happy because he knows he still loves ladybug, but also sad because he knows she will never love him in the same way.

I'm sorry for making you read that entire thing. If you made it through, please, tell me below, which version you like more, and I really want to see your criticism of both. I'd love to have a conversation about it.

[imploder]

ML Sex Hotline AU

Okay I know this is super cliche, and it’s been done a million times, and I’m sorry if someone has written exactly this before, but hear me out. It’s not lewd, I swear. (Sorry, if that’s what you were hoping for)

In the daytime, she’s Marinette. Just a normal college or mid-20s girl with a normal life. 

Also crushing on her hot model friend/classmate Adrien, but what else is new?

But there’s something about her that no one knows yet cause she has a secret:

Her night job is working as a phone sex operator. 

So Adrien, all the while, your stereotypical pure sunshine boy who knows almost nothing about the machanics of sex/sexual interaction/etc.

His best friend Nino wants to help a dude out, so he gives him a number to call to get him so “stress relief.”

Adrien is like, “Wow! A hotline just for romance questions? I’ll be able to learn so much and get a girlfriend/boyfriend in no time!”

He doesn’t know what a sex hotline is.

So innocent.

He calls, goes through the payment stuff, and gets connected to a girl named “Ladybug.”

It’s Marinette.

“Hello! Thanks for calling Lucky Charm Romance. I’m Ladybug. What’s your name?”

Adrien just responds like, “Oh, Ladybug! That’s a cool codename! Can I have one too?”

Marinette stays IC and just says, “Yes, please do~”

“Then you can call me…Chat Noir.”

“Okay, Chat Noir…”

Marinette is about to go on with her script, but during the pause Adrien starts asking questions.

And Marinette is so confused, but tries her best to stay IC while answering his questions. 

He keeps asking things about romance advice and sex and what girls/guys like. 

Eventually she thinks, ‘Okay, so this guy obviously doesn’t know what this is, but he’s kind of adorable, so I’ll keep talking.’

Plus he’s still paying so…

They end up just taking the entire time.

They constantly get off topic, Adrien enjoys the banter that Ladybug provides, and Marinette finds Chat to be great company and a nice break from getting guys off over the phone.

So finally when his hour is up, he asks for her phone number.

Ladybug says she had a great time talking but emphasizes, “I don’t date clients.”

Adrien laughs it off. He wouldn’t date a girl he just met over a phone call. Nooooo, never.

So after a couple days, Adrien is doing nothing and decides to call again, asking for Ladybug specifically. 

Because….fuck okay, he might have a little crush.

Marinette is a bit taken back when Chat Noir is on the line with her again, so she finally tells him, “You do know this is a phone sex hotline, right?”

She has to explain what it is, and he gets to flustered and embarrassed because he literally didn’t know. She can’t help but giggle at his reaction.

She does point out that he still paid for the hour, so they might as well keep talking.

So they do.

They talk about her job, what they do for fun, their general lives, without getting too much into specifics of course.

It eventually comes out that Adrien has little to no real world experience with romance because his father keeps an extremely close eye on who he hangs out with.

Of course she’s not surprised.

So over the course of a few weeks they talk more and more to the point of him calling daily, sometimes spending enough to get a double session because they’re having such a good time.

By now Adrien is a fucking goner. Completely head over heels with Ladybug. He’s screwed.

But he doesn’t really flirt seriously (or tries not to and fails) because doesn’t so would be inappropriate while she’s at work.

Also she doesn’t date clients.

Okay.

So finally, finally Ladybug agrees to meet up with him since she’s pretty sure he’s not a creepy dude looking to take advantage of her or something.

He’s just a friend™ after all.

So they finally meet in person, and they are both like holy SHIT. It was Marinette/Adrien the whole time! [Your standard reveal scene]

Adrien thinks it’s hilarious.

Marinette is almost devistated that Adrien knows she works as a phone sex operator now.

She’s screaming but now she’s basically best friends with her biggest crush.

Then they go to Adrien’s place to hang out.

And he decides that’s good time to confess.

So he tells her that he’s had the biggest crush on her for weeks now. It’s so easy to talk to her, he could do it forever. She’s funny, caring, confident, etc. etc.

And he’s falling over himself trying to say that he hopes it’s not weird because she’s a sexy operator or whatever.

And Marinette just thinks she’s dreaming.

But she’s not.

She’s so happy, and he’s so cute, she just leans in and kisses him.

Adrien is of course shocked silent.

And Marinette pulls back and begins to have a little freakout of her own because “Omg. I’m so sorry. I just took your first kiss without even asking. I fucked up. I’m so sorry. Oh god.”

But Adrien, completely red in the face, just sputters out, “Hey. That’s fine. It’s okay. Totally completely okay…yeah…fine..”

(He’s a goner)

So then they calm down

And kiss more  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Then the rest of the story devolves into basically Marinette educating him further on things she couldn’t over the phone.

( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉)

The end.